After all of my first semester assignments were marked, I rethought a lot about the meaning of studying here. The grades were not bad, probably higher than the average but not the top. But actually, I have never cared about the scores or ranks since I was very little. I felt satisfied just in that I enjoyed the study of last semester and the results turned out not bad, which increases my confidence of applying for a further PhD in the future.
However, it seems that people like me who enjoy reading academic books and fighting for the essays day and night only occupy a minority. Last week, I found a clash between two of my optional modules. I borrowed some text books from friends so I could find out more about the alternative modules, and all my friends warm-heartedly give me advice on whether to choose the module when lending me their text books. They “warned ” me which module had a freaky final test, which had a low rate of passing last year, and which one contained a large number of assignments that would definitely become a heavy burden for the students who chose it… I do appreciate their “warnings”, but the truth is, I do not care about the assignments, the final test, or even the passing rate. The reason why I borrowed their handbooks is merely that I want to find out the content of the module, and to see if I am interested in it.
Truly, good grades can make me happy, but this kind of happiness can only exist for a short moment. Instead, if I choose a module I like, I can read the books I like every day, take the lectures I like every week, and perhaps find like-minded friends. I will probably struggle with those difficult assignments, but under such circumstances, even watching the sunrise in IC could become an enjoyable experience. And even if the final grade is not that satisfying, that’s still not a big deal, because I believe this kind of disappointment would exist only for a short while.
After attending several lectures last week, I have decided which module I’d like to choose. This is a module taught by my supervisor, and during the first lecture, he frankly said that, “I knew some of you may be concerned about the final grades. What I want to tell you is that just try engaging with and enjoying the module, the grades will follow you.” Hey, that’s my point! Regardless of the numerous assignments and the low rate of passing last year, I appreciate the content, and I do admire the lecturer, so how could I not choose this module?
I have no intention of blaming my friends and classmates’ thoughts because everyone has their own values. But for me, enjoyment is what I regard as the most important. Hopefully, I will have a fabulous second semester and I can’t wait to engage and enjoy it!